A New Park and a New Furend!

Today Daddy took me on a play-date!

There's a new Bark Park in the nearby town of Quick-Pam-Kiss, and Mom's been gonna take me there fur a while now, because some geocachers put out a cache in my name there. But that was right when Mom and Daddy got the Flying Pig Disease, and Mom hasn't had a chance to take me yet. In fact, Mom couldn't even come today 'cuz she hadda get ready fur werk.

Well, Daddy has a furend named You-Win and last night, the two of them decided it was time fur me and You-Win's dog, Haggis, to meet. So Daddy called You-Win this morning, and then off Daddy and I went to the Quick-Pam-Kiss Bark Park!

This is me and Haggis. Now, I've heard Mom talk about Haggis before. She says Haggis is food made out of a sheep's stomach, but I think she might be foozed, because he smelled like a doggy to me!

When Mom saw the pitchures of Haggis, they really made her smile, because she says Haggis looks like a cross between me and my predecessor, Pepsi. Mom really wished she could have been there fur my first date with Haggis, but Daddy took lotsa pitchures.

Haggis and I played together and had a lot of funfunfun! It was wonderdog! And there were lots of other doggies there too! I did my best to round them all up but they wouldn't pretend to be sheep fur me.

This was only the second Bark Park I've ever been to, but it was furry nice. I especially liked the fact that they had a newsstand out in the middle of it.

I really had a great time with Haggis and the other doggies! Can't wait to go back sometime soon -- and maybe find my geocache, too!

Yay Fur Winter!

Mom and Daddy took me up for a romp in Our Park. There were lots of doggies there. The road was a little icy, so Mom was doing her baby-step-shuffle, but that didn't slow me down at all!
I love the holidays! And winter! And snow! And EFURRYTHING!

Hairy Kissmoose!

As soon as I saw the big tree in the livingroom in our den, I knew that it would soon be Kissmoose and prezzies-time! And -- just like I hoped -- Santa Paws CAME!
Santa Paws always wraps my prezzies cuz he knows I like unwrapping gifts just as much as Mom does. (Unlike Mom and Ont Krista when they were mini-hoomins, I acshully wait until Kissmoose to unwrap mine. Of course, the fact that I can't get at them 'til the hoomins fork them over might have sumfin to do with it, too.)
Anyway, Santa Paws brought me a new chewie!
(I love you, Santa Paws! Fangu furry much! And Zaph says fangu too.)
I told Zaph he could come tell you about his new prezzie (a mousie attached by 'lastic to a thing that hangs on a doorknob) but he's become a little bit obsessed. Daddy was furry happy that Zaph liked his prezzie this year, because most years he ignores what Santa Paws brings him. But Daddy thinks he's going to have to hide Zaph's prezzie at night if the hoomins want any sleep!

Daddy laff-barked really hard when Zaph knocked it off the doorknob and scampered down the stairs with his prey. No wonder Daddy calls Zaph "Mighty Hunter!" (I call Zaph "Mighty Stoopid," but that's just my opinion.)

Hairy Kissmoose, efurryone!

Trip to The Evil Doctor (aka TED)

Well, I knew that that dewclaw / don't-claw was going to mean nuffin but trubble.

It wasn't as bad as last time. It stopped bleeding that night, but Mom and Daddy kept checking on it. Efurrytime they looked at it, I did my bestest to limp and hop and look pitiful so that I'd get T*R*E*A*T*S. Mom said that I was a little diva and deserved a Cad-Me Award, cuz the rest of the time, I was running and jumping and chewing on Zaph as if nuffin was wrong!

So when Daddy told me to get into the zoom-zoom, I had a sneaky spishon that we were going to go to TED. And I was right.

Well, I thought maybe that if I was a good girl and got weighed and gave kisses, I could get out of there without acshully seeing TED. No such luck.

I hadn't been to see TED in over a year, but I still remembered that I DON'T like being on his zamination table!

He looked in my nears and in my eyes and felt me all over. And then he took out a pair of clippers and chopped off all my toes! Not just the broken don't-claw, but all of them! And I cried and howled and yodelled and buried my face against Mom and begged her to rescue me, but it was no good. She was useless.

And then, after taking my toes, TED shot me in the neck with Vac-See-Nations!

And what did my hero, Daddy, do while all this torture was going on? Did he pick me up and run? Did he tell TED to put my toes back? Did he tell TED to be gentle with me, his little girl? No...

HE TOOK PITCHURES OF MY PAIN AND SUFFERING!

I fired Daddy as my hero right then and there. I mean, Mom held me and I know she doan like needles either, and she kept pawlogizing, but Daddy thought he was the paw-paw-rottsies!

I made up my mind to neffur speak to Daddy again -- or at least not until Kissmoose -- but then he told me I was a good-girl and on the way home, we went to get me zoom-zoom-food. (Mom and Daddy call them McDonalds french fries, but they're MINE, not Old MacDonald's!)

Anyway, my don't-claw feels better now, and Mom says that I don't have to get shot again anytime soon, so that's good.

And Daddy is my hero again. He gave me T*R*E*A*T*S and we share a pillow at night, so I can't stay mad at him fur long.

But TED? I'm sticking my tongue out at YOU!

Fur the Love of Dog...

I'm injured. Not bad -- just a broken do-claw. Or a don't-claw. I can neffur remember which one it is. I've done it before and I was hoping I could hide it because it will mean a trip to The Evil Doctor (aka TED).

But Daddy saw the blood, and picked me up and took me to Mom, and since Mom just took a Furst Aid/See Pee Are course this week, she was pretty quick with the bandage. I HATE THE BANDAGE.

So I'm limping around, doing my best to look pathetic, hoping the hoomins hurry up and make with the T*R*E*A*T*S. I haven't seen any yet.

(sigh)

Our hoomins have (t)issues.

PIPER: Please excuse the quality of the pitchures fur this post. Zaphod doesn't know how to work a camera.

ZAPHOD: Do so.

PIPER: Do not. (pause) Okay, so I'm teaming up with the walking hairball today because we're a little concerned about our hoomins, Mom and Daddy.

ZAPHOD: I like the pitchure you took of me. You captured my mist-ee-ree-us side.

PIPER: Please stop using words I don't know how to spell without looking them up.

ZAPHOD: Sorry. I keep furgetting that you're not as smart as me.

PIPER: Am so! I even went to school!

ZAPHOD: Yeah, but only because you didn't know to listen to Mom and Daddy in the furst place. Didn't I tell you that you'd get more T*R*E*A*T*S if you did?

PIPER: (snort) Anyway, Mom and Daddy are acting furry weird, because Zaphod got them sick.

ZAPHOD: I did not!

PIPER: Well, they're constantly coughing up hairballs! Haven't you noticed?

ZAPHOD: They aren't coughing up hairballs -- they're barking! Like you! It's your fault. Nice try, Tennis-Ball-Brain!

PIPER: Uh-oh -- you said "tennis ball." I miss my tennis balls! I miss my FETCH. It's been furry nice having them both in bed fur days on end, and the naptime has been furry enjoyable, but ... (whimper)

ZAPHOD: I don't care. As long as they feed me, I'm happy.

PIPER: (appraising Zaph's bulk) Yeah, no kidding.

ZAPHOD: (ignoring the beautiful black and white dog who is typing this and can therefore type what she wants) So, I overheard Mom telling someone she and Daddy have swine flu, and that it got worse and they got throat infections and ear infections, and bronc-eye-tiss, and Mom has new-moan-ia.

PIPER: "Swine," like in "pigs?"

ZAPHOD: And "bronc," as in "horses." Yep. That's what she said.

PIPER: We've got PIGS AND HORSES to compete with for our hoomins' attentions?! And I didn't SMELL them?

ZAPHOD: Yeah, well, if it's not round, fuzzy, day-glo yellow and flying through the air, you don't notice nuthin', Piper. (yawning) As long as I get fed ...

PIPER: Can I chew on your head fur a little while?

Sunday = Funday!

Hello, furends! I want to tell you about the wunderdog time I had with Mom yesterday!

As most of you know, my favourite thing in the whole wide world is a good game of FETCH. If there is a tennis ball in motion, I am so there! And there! And THERE!

We usually play FETCH in the backyard, but it's been really muddy there lately. When Daddy brought me in the other night, I was a black and brown doggy! Well, I hate getting a B*TH, but I love FETCH more, so I guess it's okay.

Well, yesterday morning, after finding an easy geocache, Mom took me to FETCH HEAVEN!

Not far from our den is a big park, and in the summertime a lot of hoomins bring big moving dens and park them all in the same place. But after Canadogian Fangsgiving, they all go home, leaving a big, fenced-in, gravelly open space. So yesterday, Mom took me and the Chuck-It and the ball up there. And Mom threw the ball as far and as hard as she could, over and over and over again, just for me!

Happiness is having fetched the ball so far so many times that you

have to take a rest on the way back!

Once Mom saw that I was getting tired (Momnote: Hallelujah!), she decided we would then play a game of "Walk-it" with the picnic tables! Mom saw how a bunch of them were lined up in a row and so she got me to run up and down alla picnic tables in a row! (We stopped going to Jillity a year ago when Mom sprained her ankle, but of course I 'membered what "walk-it" means! I am a Border Collie mystery mix, after all!)


When I got home again, I was so tired that I went back to bed with Daddy and went right to sleeps!

Mom and I had so much fun up at the No-Moving-Dens-Now Park yesterday that we're going to try to go again soon. Right now, though, we're gonna go take a nap! (wagwagwag)

The Great OUTdoors

Yesterday Mom had to go to a store, so Daddy and I went too, and after the store, we went to The Beach! There are lotsa beaches around here, and it's a good thing, too, because Daddy loves to take pitchures of water. LOTS of pitchures of water.

This beach was on the way to Red Head and the water was furry angry. Daddy took some pitchures and Mom did too, but the wimpy hoomins said it was cold, so we didn't stay furry long. Still, I got to run and sniff and play, and that made it an AWESOME time to be me!

On Friesday, Daddy stayed home from work to play with me. Mom went out, and as soon as the coast was clear, Daddy and I got in his zoom-zoom and went fur a walk in the woods. We haven't been walking in the woods as much as I'd like, because of icky-tickies, but they're prolly all dead now. I got shot so the icky-tickies won't hurt me, but they still gross Mom out.

I like it when Daddy stays home from work. It not only means three days of funfunfun instead of two, but he makes popcorn all three days too! I wunder how I can make this a habit fur him?

Hoomins these days ...

Hello, everydoggy!

I nose it has been a furry long time since I've posted anything here. Blame Mom! Just because she and Daddy are trying to cut costs, she keeps turning off the pooter screen when she goes out without me (which is ALL THE TIME NOW), and I can't reach around to the button because I don't have thumbs! Sheesh!

And then there's Daddy. As everydoggy knows, I love my daddy. I think he's just wunnerful. Or at least I did. This week I found out he's a big fat fibber!

Whenever we play fetch in my OUT, Daddy says, "Don't lose the ball, Piper. Tennis balls don't grow on trees, you know."

Well, guess what?

I fink Daddy's got some 'splainin' to do. (wagwagwag)

Just so you know...

Pleas vote fur us!

Mom submitted a photo of me and Zaph in a contest on AnimalAttraction.com, a really cool online community for pet lovers that also helps homeless pets. Efurry time you log in, they donate money to a shelter.

You can vote fur us (once a day) here:
http://animalattraction.com/PhotoContest/ShareMyEntry/7582

Whoever wins the contest gets to select their favorite animal shelter or rescue group to receive a $250 donation from AnimalAttraction! The shelter I came from looked like they could really use it.

Fangs!

Dogs love uncondishunally ...

... but Daddy is really pushing it.

This happened on Friesday, but it was so traumatizing that I could only post about it now.

Why doesn't he make ZAPH swim?!

A Day at The Summer Place (and More Torture By My Super-Hero Daddy)

On Chewsday, Daddy came home early from work. I was furry confused, but when I saw him put my water bottle in the zoom-zoom, I didn't care where we were going, because I was getting to go, too!

Turned out Mom and Daddy and I all went down to The Summer Place. Nunkle Ken had invited all of the fambly to go down to the cottage fur a family get-together.

Well, it was a big sprize, because Nunkle Andrew, Anti-Dawna and Cuzzin Anna were there too! I'd neffur met them before, because they live in Albirda, which I guess is a furry long ways away. Daddy had figured out the sprize, because he's furry smart, but Mom had no idea. (I think Mom's head is full of rughooking wool half the time and that's why.)
I liked meeting the Albirda McLeans! Nunkle Stephen and Ont Lee and Daddy's sisters came, and all my hoomin cuzzins, and my doggy cuzzins Cecil and Coal were there, too, so we had a really good time together.

Or we did. Then Daddy decided to start the "swimming lessons" again. (That's Daddy Code fur trying to drown me.) He has this weird obsession with water and making me swim.

Well, I don't need lessons -- I can swim, as I showed him on Chewsday. But I DON'T LIKE IT and I don't need to swim if I don't go in above my tummy. Daddy will just have to learn to fetch his own tennis ball if he's gonna insist on throwing it in the water.

Well, after Daddy gave up on trying to drown me, I thought I was safe. That didn't last furry long at all! Further down the beach from my tennis ball was a big box-thing. I didn't pay too much attention to it because it was just sitting there, and it left the tennis ball alone, so I didn't care.

But all of a sudden Nunkle Stephen decided to climb up on it for a better look. It didn't like that at all! It started making a FURRY BIG NOISE and the water behind it started spinning and then I knew that the box-thing was really the Lake You-Toe-Pee-a Sea Monster. I started barking "RUN FUR YOUR LIVES!" but the hoomins didn't listen at all.

Next thing I knew, Daddy picked me up and put me on The Monster with the suicidal hoomins and climbed on with me! "It's a water-zoom-zoom," he splained, but he's delooshunul when it comes to water, so I didn't believe him fur a second.
Nunkle Stephen wrestled the Monster and made it go way way out into the middle of the lake, and I thought fur sure that we were all gonna die. All I wanted was to see my mom and my tennis ball again. Would I be able to chew on Zaph one more time?

Well, I'm becoming a bigger fan of Nunkle Stephen all the time. He's my hero. He got us all back alive.

Once I was back on the beach and away from The Monster, Nunkle Stephen decided to punish Daddy fur all of the stress he'd put me through. Nunkle Stephen made Daddy wear some sort of special torture harness.

Well, I thought I knew Daddy pretty well, but on Chewsday I learned something I didn't know: Daddy is part-fish.

The Monster decided it wasn't done, and it took off for the middle of the lake, stealing Nunkle Stephen and my cuzzins. Somehow Daddy managed to stand up on the water behind The Monster and he grabbed it by the tail and chased it. The Monster went in circles, trying to shake Daddy off, but Daddy was determined! He chased that Monster all over the lake! And then when Daddy had finally decided he'd picked on the Monster long enough, he let go of it and slid onto the beach on his feet.

My daddy is amazing.

Even if he wants to drown me.

Hey, hoomins!

If it's hot enough for me to wallow in a mud puddle, then it's too hot for you to be caching!

Place Daddy's geocache already, and let's go get some nice cream!