Monday, December 21, 2009

Trip to The Evil Doctor (aka TED)

Well, I knew that that dewclaw / don't-claw was going to mean nuffin but trubble.

It wasn't as bad as last time. It stopped bleeding that night, but Mom and Daddy kept checking on it. Efurrytime they looked at it, I did my bestest to limp and hop and look pitiful so that I'd get T*R*E*A*T*S. Mom said that I was a little diva and deserved a Cad-Me Award, cuz the rest of the time, I was running and jumping and chewing on Zaph as if nuffin was wrong!

So when Daddy told me to get into the zoom-zoom, I had a sneaky spishon that we were going to go to TED. And I was right.

Well, I thought maybe that if I was a good girl and got weighed and gave kisses, I could get out of there without acshully seeing TED. No such luck.

I hadn't been to see TED in over a year, but I still remembered that I DON'T like being on his zamination table!

He looked in my nears and in my eyes and felt me all over. And then he took out a pair of clippers and chopped off all my toes! Not just the broken don't-claw, but all of them! And I cried and howled and yodelled and buried my face against Mom and begged her to rescue me, but it was no good. She was useless.

And then, after taking my toes, TED shot me in the neck with Vac-See-Nations!

And what did my hero, Daddy, do while all this torture was going on? Did he pick me up and run? Did he tell TED to put my toes back? Did he tell TED to be gentle with me, his little girl? No...

HE TOOK PITCHURES OF MY PAIN AND SUFFERING!

I fired Daddy as my hero right then and there. I mean, Mom held me and I know she doan like needles either, and she kept pawlogizing, but Daddy thought he was the paw-paw-rottsies!

I made up my mind to neffur speak to Daddy again -- or at least not until Kissmoose -- but then he told me I was a good-girl and on the way home, we went to get me zoom-zoom-food. (Mom and Daddy call them McDonalds french fries, but they're MINE, not Old MacDonald's!)

Anyway, my don't-claw feels better now, and Mom says that I don't have to get shot again anytime soon, so that's good.

And Daddy is my hero again. He gave me T*R*E*A*T*S and we share a pillow at night, so I can't stay mad at him fur long.

But TED? I'm sticking my tongue out at YOU!

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Say Piper, I is so sawry you hadda go to TED. I herd Momma muttering that *I* gotta go soon too, fur my rabies needle. YIKES!!! Are you still doin' agility??? I just started classes, and I LUV it!!! I am impressing efurryone, showing them a PekeSneeze can do agility GOOD.

wags,
Chloe (TeddyBear's sista, from Woofers)

Karen said...

Piper, I feel yer pain. I hadda go to TEDs too last week and get poked, prodded, dey took some of my poopies the HARD WAY, and tooks some of my blood. I was not happy. I also tried to hide in mommas chest but dey kept on comin.

Kelsey (from woofers)

Wendy said...

Aww... Your friend Dara and her little brother, Deogi, went one week before Christmas for the exact same thing. Good thing it's only once a year. ;-) Awesome pics! <3 <3 <3

Wendy T