Big 'citement here!

'Safternoon, Mom and I were laying down watching TV because it's so icky you can almost drink the air here when we heard a loud BANG downstairs!

Mom figured Zaph had knocked something down in the kitchen, so she went downstairs to see. The first thing she noticed was a couple of the spice bottles lying on the floor, so she looked up at the spice rack. Now, our house is an older house, and there used to be a wood stove in the kitchen. The vent to the chimney is above the spice rack, and when Mom looked, it had been popped open HARD (ripping the latex paint) and there were little sooty scramble marks all around it.

Well, Mom looked an' looked, but she couldn't see anything, so we went back upstairs so Mom could use the pooter.

About a half hour later, Mom heard Zaph go from Stealth-Mode to All-Out-Scramble downstairs, so she and I went down to see what was going on. I went down ahead of her and saw something that I didn't like so I came back upstairs pretty quick. Mom decided to lock me in the bedroom because she figured she was going to have to deal with something I wouldn't be any help with.

Zaph had it cornered under a little side table next to the stairs, and it was making lotsa high-pitched chirpy noise, so Mom tossed Zaph into the kitchen and got an old ice cream container with a lid to catch the critter. The noise in the table had stopped, so Mom stuck her head under it furry carefully to see what it was. An' she couldn't see anything! So she furry gently pulled on the drawer handle and all kinds of panicky chirpy noises started up again. So Mom stopped and looked under again and still couldn't see the bird.

At this point, Mom was wondering if it was a bat, because it would hafta be awfully small to fit in the back of the drawer. Rabies hasn't become too widespread here in our area yet, so Mom wasn't too worried. She just wanted to get the critter out cuz he sounded so scared.

(Meanwhile, I was helping as best I could by barking my head off in the bedroom.)

So Mom pulled the drawer a bit, and then another bit, and then finally all the way out, and THE BIGGEST SQUIRREL SHE HAS EVER SEEN LANDED ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF HER!

At this point, Mom chucked the ice cream container, cuz it was gonna be totally useless, and watched as the squirrel literally tried to climb the walls. The poor thing was a big red squirrel, but Mom didn't realize that then because he was black with soot, with just a few little red patches showing. He was going crackerdog all over the place!

So Mom went and opened the front door, thinking maybe she could guide the squirrel in that direction, and then she heard Daddy's car coming up the driveway. Knowing that Daddy would open the door that the squirrel was trying to climb, and then the squirrel would take off into the kitchen, maybe stopping on Daddy's head on the way through, Mom ran upstairs to yell out the window to Daddy to use the front door.

Well, the squirrel must've made a break for the front door while she was upstairs, cuz there's no sign of him now ('cept for a coupla poops Mom cleaned up), and Daddy saw a squirrel in the driveway when he was coming around front.

And that's the news from here.