Oh my dog, I'M BROKEN!

Hello, Everydoggy,

I've been feeling kind of slow the last couple of days. Just dopey, and sleepy, and not my usual Hyper Piper self. (Shut up, Zaph -- I am NOT usually 'dopey'.) But anyway ... Today I felt more normal, and since I was bored because I haven't been to the Bark Park SINCE THURSDAY, MOM (!), I decided to get some grooming done.

Imagine my shock when I get to my lower belly and there's a HOLE there. Oh, sure, it's sewn up, but there's a HOLE in my BELLY! A hideous HOLE!

Near as I can figure, it must have happened when Mom and Daddy took me to TED (The Evil Doctor) on Friday. The TED I used to know, he decided he was old enough to get new tires, and so I had a new PLV (Pretty Lady Vet). Well, she's obviously into appearances because, as beautiful as I am, she decided to shave one of my legs! She finally listened to me and stopped, but now I've got this bare patch on my left front leg. (Mind you, it's nicely decorated by the spots on my skin, but still.)

To get even with me for arguing with her and wanting to keep my beautiful hairy legs, SHE must have broken me while I was napping. And there's no point in telling Mom or Daddy -- they even forgot to feed me on Thursday night. Not much going on upstairs there. And speaking of stairs -- Daddy keeps carrying me up and down them! What's with that? Have they forgotten that I've been doing that myself since Day Five as Clan Dog?

All I know is that if I don't get up to the Bark Park soon, Kita (that shameless hussy) is going to get big enough that my handsome Casey will fall for her evil ways. And now that I don't have any baby teeth left to lose, I can't smear blood all over her face. I need to get up there -- NOW!

... What's that, Daddy? Naptime? Okay, hang on ....

Thanks fur listening. I have to go snore now.